A Mysterious New Girl
by Karkatsbabe
Summary: Morticia comes into Ouran to become a student, in class 2-A. She recognizes a few of the faces, and a few recognize her. Her arrival tilts most of the hosts on their heads while she sits back and cackles at them.
1. Chapter 1

The chairman, Suou, looked at the newtransfer student. The girl was from an illustrious family that was hardly known, but was prominent enough to get into Ouran Academy with no issues . . . but one.

"Suou-sama, I can not wear the female uniform for your school. It hinders my movement, the shoes have no grip, and it could easily get me killed." Her voice was steady and even, almost monotonous, as she spoke of this concern.

"Call me uncle!" He said as he considered the problem. It was a school policy to wear the uniform, there exceptions to the rules but this one was upheld more strictly than any other . . . Fujioka Haruhi being a minor exception. "What is your suggestion?"

"I think a skirt with shorts sewn into it and tights beneath that will do for the bottom. For the top I was thinking of just a dress shirt and a school blazer or sweater." The girl's voice perked with the talk of clothing, but wasn't excited about it. "For the footwear, I was thinking of something similar to the uniform ones, only with more traction and less likely to break my ankle."

"Sounds good. Do you have a sketch image to show me?" The girl reached into her bag to produce a large sketchbook and flipped to her modified version of the uniform. She handed it to the chairman and he looked it over minutely. "Looks good, modest,and excellently drawn. I'll have this design sent off and you'll have your uniforms in one week."

"Thank you, for your consideration on this matter." She smiled faintly before speaking again. "May I have my sketchbook back?"

"Oh, here." Chairmen Suou handed it back and watched as she took out the design. He took it and set it on his desk. "You won't have to start until next week, when you get your uniforms, and I'll have a student ready to escort you around campus."

"Thank you. I will call when I receive them." She stood and bowed. You don't mind if have a look around before I leave, do you?"

"Go right a head. I encourage it." He waved at the girl as she left. He chuckled when she was gone. "The students are going to have a fun time gossiping about her. She doesn't have a school record but for one year in third grade at Ouran Elementary School. I bet almost no one remembers her, she does look _very _different from then."

* * *

"This school is so big and pink. Why am I being forced to go here?" I haired hotel muttered to myself.

"My lady, what is such a delicate rose like yourself doing alone?" I turned to see a blond boy calling to me. He looked like the chairman. "Are you new here?"

"Yes. I'll be starting next week or so." I answered as he came closer, with a dark haired shadow that wore glasses. He looked familiar. "Didn't we attend school together? You look so familiar."

"I believe we met once, in third year of elementary school." The boy with glasses looked me over. "I am Kyoya Ootori, and this is Tamaki Suou. It's a pleasure to meet you."

"Is Morticia Butler. It is nice to meet you too." I said in reply.

"You know this girl, Kyoya?" Tamaki asked with bewilderment. Kyoya pushed up his glasses and seemed to be deep in thought.

"Briefly. I can't seem to recall anything about you." He had a glint to his eye that implied anger. "Would you like to visit our club with us?"

"Oh, yes! You must join us! It's quite popular and it will only get better with such a beautiful rose sitting in it." Tamaki had, somehow, drawn a white rose out of thin air and was kneeling in front of me while holding my right hand to his lips. I shivered, not because I found his plea endearing, but because I had hands that were sensitive to the touch . . . of other, gentle caresses.

"I'll accompany you. I was taking a brief look at the school, but I can spare a while." Tamaki jumped up and shouted in excitement before taking my hand and dragging me to his club. I briefly considered digging in my heels, but that would cause too much trouble, might even scuff the floor.

Stupid "super" strength.

"Tamaki, you didn't have to drag her all the way here." Kyoya said after the blond had stopped in front of a room titled "Music Room 3" . . . Kyoya could have said that something earlier. Passive aggressive punishment for not knowing jack about me.

"Ah!" He apparently just realized he did it. "I am so sorry! I should not have treated a lady in such a manner, please forgive me.

Tamaki bowed, in earnest, as he apologized. I could already tell that he was an emotional idiot, how far that went was to be seen.

"I forgive you." The moment I said that, the doors opened, stopping Tamaki from hugging me. A blast red rose petals flew from the open doors and a I saw five people.

"Welcome!" They greeted. I recognized four of them and the last was a girl. Tamaki ran in and hugged the girl, calling her his son after calling her his daughter. It was obvious that he liked her, possibly loved her but couldn't properly identify his feelings for her.

I walked in a looked at the tallest and shortest members.

"It's good to see you two again." I bowed to the oldest 'Nozuka boys', as I liked to call them.

"Huh? Wait, you're that really strong girl from when we were in grade school!" Mitsukuni said before jumping from Takashi's shoulder to me. I easily caught him. "You got really pretty since I last saw you! How have you been?"

I giggled as Mitsukuni practically radiated flowers.

"I have been well, Mitsukuni. I hope that you and Takashi have also been well?" I set the little blond down and let him tug me to a table filled with cake, I could sense Takashi following.

"We've been great!" He said as he sat down. He held a pink rabbit close, I think I remember it from when we were kids. "Usa-chan, Takashi and I have had lots of fun since we last saw you!"

"Yeah." Came the low, agreement from the tall, raven haired Morinozuka. I shivered slightly, I had known when we were younger that his voice would deepen but not to that degree.

"Did you ever finish that move you were working on?"

"Yeah. After I go back home and change, do you want me to come to your family dojo?" It had been three years since I had last seen the two, and I had almost been able to beat Mitsukuni in spars.

"That sounds great! I'll tell Chika and Satoshi that you're coming by! I know they've missed you lots!" He said and stuffed some cake into his mouth. I smiled at his cuteness, until two sets of arms came to rest on my shoulders.

"So, you've known Hani-senpai and Mori-senpai for-" One of the boys started.

"-How long? And you've been to Ouran before?" Finished a voice that was very similar to the first. It must be the Hitachiin twins.

"I take it that you two don't remember me? Shame, I had always taken an interest in you two. I always left nice surprises for you two, I even left a note a time or two to tell you who it was from." I sipped some tea that Takashi had poured for me as the two ginger haired boys' sputtered. It was hard to resist laughing at them, Mitsukuni and Takashi were holding in their amusement quite well.

"I remember when Shini-chan left the newest portable game for you guys. I think it was a game about fighting some evil monster." Leave it to the Loli-shota to rub it in while looking adorable.

"What kind of nickname is 'Shini-chan', why not something else?" That voice sounded female. I looked over to see the girl looking at our little cluster with bored eyes.

"It's short for shinigami." I told her, speaking loudly to make sure she heard. Everybody but Mitsukuni, Takashi, and Kyoya flinched at that.

"Why that?!" The gingers' shouted at the same time.

"It's because my name is Morticia. It didn't make a good nickname when shortened so he calls me 'Shini-chan' instead." I explained. I liked the name, it suited my semi-cynical personality.

I glanced at Kyoya, who looked like he was having a miniature breakdown at his laptop. I snickered quietly and louder when his eyes snapped to me at the noise.

"You won't find much." I could see how much that sentence disturbed him. He had always been the kid that knew everything, and not knowing something while being unable to find it was going to push him off the cliff of frustration.

"Kyoya-senpai unable to find information?" The first twin said.

"That's completely unheard of!" Said the second twin. They were rubbing it in, it just made me like them more. I watched as they poked something on the floor, only to see that it was Tamaki.

I chuckled quietly. A thought occurred to me and I quickly jotted down a note on a spare piece of paper.

"Mitsukuni." I whispered to him. He looked at me with his full attention. "I'm gonna go now, I'll see you in a few hours okay? I want to sneak out so don't say anything."

He nodded and made the motion for zipping his lips. I smiled and patted his head, slipping in a note without his notice.

I silently grabbed my bag and walked out the doors as all but the girl and my two friends were absorbed in the thing with Kyoya.

"I wonder hat the Host Club will do for their next cosplay!" Twittered one girl to another.

"Oh, I hope that they do something from the feudal era!" The other girl chirped back.

I walked past them and then looked to see them at the doors to Music Room 3, just standing there.

Those two joined a host club. Huh, I'm not sure how to feel about that.

* * *

"Hey, where did that girl go to?" Hikaru asked the other hosts. Kaoru looked around and didn't see her either.

"She left!" Said the small, cake loving blond. A nod came from the stoic host.

Tamaki suddenly hopped up from his position on the floor, scaring half the hosts.

"We should apologize for how we acted toward her! Kyoya, what do you know?" They all looked at the Host Club's "Shadow King" to see if he had anything.

"Her name is Morticia Olivia Butler, she's the heiress to five unknown companies. She attended one year of school at Ouran Elementary School, third grade, made friends with two fourth graders, and disappeared after the end of the school year." He stopped.

"Is that all?" Tamaki asked in disbelief.

"Yes. This girl, and her family, have left no trail. No history, no paper trail, just nothing." Kyoya gritted his teeth and ran a hand over his hair.

"Mitsukuni." Takashi said, drawing everyone's attention to the duo. He removed a small piece of folded paper from the smaller males hair. He quickly read it and had a faint smile on his face as he handed it to Mitsukuni.

"Yay!" The hyper blond jumped up and down, then swung his stuffed rabbit in a circle. Hikaru picked up the note that Mitsukuni had dropped and read it.

"I like that girl!" Hikaru howled with laughter, rolling on the floor. Kaoru looked at his brother before snatching the paper, reading it and joining his twin on the floor.

"What could she have written that's so funny?" Haruhi muttered before reading the note for herself. "That is pretty funny."

"What?! Let daddy see!" Haruhi handed it over and went to study, while Tamaki read the note and then passed out on the floor.

Kyoya was quite fed up with all of this. He snagged the note from Tamaki's limp hand and read.

_'Dear Mitsukuni,_

_I'll be attending next week, in the same class with Kyoya, class 2-A. Well, it'll most likely be next week. I hope we can eat lunch together like in grade school. Also, improve your observation skills, I slipped this into your hair without you noticing._

_. . ._

_Dear Takashi,_

_I learned how to wield a tanto, I'll have to see if I can beat you. I know how happy you are to have me back in your life. Don't tell Satoshi or Yasuchika that I'll be coming by the dojo, just make sure that they'll be there._

_. . ._

_Dear Hikaru and Kaoru,_

_I haven't spent enough time around you to tell you guys apart yet, but I'll do it eventually. We'll have to share designs on clothes sometime, I know that you take after your mother in that respect, and I think we could have some fun when it comes to Tamaki. The guy is just too easy to tease!_

_. . ._

_Dear Tamaki,_

_You have got to realize the feelings you have, it's embarrassing to see you act that way. But, all you dense Frenchmen are the same. You're dense, like lead._

_. . . _

_Dear girl in the room that's not me,_

_I hope that whatever they have over your head is good. You don't seem the type to randomly cross dress to deal with Tamaki and the Hitachiins'._

_. . ._

_Dear Kyoya,_

_All you have to do is ask. You won't find any of my medical records because I don't use my actual name when going to the doctor, and it can't be that hard to ask. I'll tell you what you want to know as long as it is kept between you and I, the less people know about me, the better. I've had too many attempts on my life to know that leaving nothing behind keeps them off the trail. Enjoy searching and blowing up when you find nothing new.'_

Kyoya stared at the words before crumpling the paper and tossing it in the trashcan.

"I dislike her."

* * *

_**Author's Note~  
**_

Good ol' Kyoya and his issues with information.

A thanks to **FloraRose23** for saying that they would read this.


	2. Chapter 2

"I'm home!" I called out as I walked into my home and took off my boots.

"I'm in the kitchen!" My mom answered. I walked into the room, smelling the cooking food and her vanilla perfume. It brightened my heart to see her so carefree, her purple hair bouncing around her head like a halo, her blue eyes shining with a spark that hadn't been there for years . . . it was a picture perfect moment. "How did it go?"

"It went well." I set down my bag and sat at the island. "I met some old classmates and saw Mitsukuni and Takashi again."

"You did? That's wonderful!" She said then looked away sheepishly. "Those are the two that you visited when we came here on vacation three ears ago, aren't they?"

"Yup! In fact, I plan on going to their family dojo in a little bit." I told her. "You can come too, if you want."

"Hmm. I'll go, after I finish this." she gestured to the stove and the oven. "I might even bring some of my vanilla cake."

"Mitsukuni loves cake. I'm not sure about the others, I'm sure they'll appreciate the gesture anyway."

"I'll bring some then." She turned back to the bubbling pot of, I guess from the smell, chicken soup. "Go get ready. I'm sure that this will be done by the time you have all that you need."

"Okay." I grabbed my bag, hugged her and went to clean up.

I took a shower, changed into a tank top with knee-length shorts, and packed my gi and tanto.[1]

"Momma! I'm ready!" I called out as I skipped into the kitchen.

"That's good because I just finished the cake!" She had a huge smile on her face. She moved to show me the cake, which was amazing.

"We're taking the car?" I already knew but I asked anyway.

"Yes. Go start it, will you?" I but on my boots, grabbed to keys and went out to the car. I checked underneath it for bombs of any kind, checked all the doors, the front and the trunk for disturbances. Everything looked fine so I opened the door, popped the hood and trunk. I checked and shut them both.

I heard a faint clicking sound coming from the house.

"Does it pass?" Mom asked from behind me. I nodded and opened the back door for her.

"I'll be right back, I forgot my bag." I quickly ran inside and grabbed my bag before dashing out to mom. "I got everything, let's go!"

"You'll have to tell me the way there." She said as we buckled up.

"Sure." I agreed.

* * *

"This is a beautiful dojo! And it's so big!" My mother exclaimed as she saw the Haninozuka's private dojo.

"That's what she said." I chuckled as she turned a cute cherry and started to laugh along with me.

"Shini-chan!" Came a shout as a little blond bundle came flying out at me. I caught him and used the momentum to do a back flip before landing with Mitsukuni safely tucked in my arms.

"I didn't even make it inside!" I chuckled before whispering to him. "Are Yasuchika and Satoshi here yet?"

"No. Takashi went to get them not too long ago." He said. He looked over at my mom. "Who're you?"

"I'm Morticia's mother, Lunera Butler." She bowed as she introduced herself.

"Can I call you Lulu-chan?" Mitsukuni asked. Mom just chuckled and nodded. "It's nice to meet you, Lulu-chan! I'm Mitsukuni Haninozuka, but you can call me Hani!"

"It's nice to meet you too, Hani-kun." My mom said.

"Mitsukuni, I need to change before the others get here." I gently reminded him. He jumped out of my arms, landing perfectly on the ground. I took off my shoes at the entrance and headed to the changing room with my bag. "I'll be out in a bit!"

I came out wearing my gi with my hair up in a high pony tail. I sat next to mom and Mitsukuni, whom had gotten my mom to cuddle him and promise sweets for when he came over . . . and for when he didn't come over.

I held my tanto in my lap, sitting in the traditional dojo pose, and tensed up when I heard voices outside the entrance.

"Taka-nii-san! Why are we going to the dojo? Is there a special move you want to show us?!" That voice had to be Satoshi's.

"I don't see why I have to come with you." That slightly angry voice had to be Yasuchika, he always had a slightly snooty tone to him.

"Ah." Was all Takashi said. I watched as they took off their shoes. I had a perfect vantage point to see them, but they couldn't see me unless they turned their heads all the way to the right. Corners are awesome like that.

Mitsukuni ran over to them and yelled, "Chika-chan!"

"Alien!" Yasuchika yelled before attacking the smaller blond. I watched them, mom was enraptured by the techniques used, and smiled at how they had grown in the three years since I saw them.

When Mitsukuni was announced winner, Satoshi went to smack Yasuchika with a kendo sword. I dashed over, threw Yasuchika out of the way and blocked the hit with my tanto, still sheathed.

"You've gotten strong, Satoshi." I said and stared him in the eye. He looked utterly confused. "Come now, how could you forget me? I helped Yasuchika train for a whole week before going back to America."

"Um . . . " He looked to be in serious thought. I jumped away as Yasuchika tried to kick me in the side. I swung around and kicked him, softly, in the gut to send him flying. "Yasuchika! You do not attack a lady when she is speaking to someone!"

I didn't stop him when he hit Yasuchika in the head. It was absolutely adorable when the blond got tears in his eyes and, almost, had chicks floating around his head.

I couldn't resist, I went over and hugged him.

"I forgive you, Yasuchika!" He stiffened but didn't force me away.

"Beau, who are these others?" Mom asked. I let go of Yasuchika and stood straight.

"Momma, this is Yasuchika Haninozuka, Satoshi Morinozuka, and Takashi Morinozuka." I pointed to each boy in turn. "Boys, this is my mother, Lunera Butler."

"Hello." Takashi said and bowed. I saw mom shiver slightly at his voice and I gave her a knowing look. She returned it.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Lunera-san." Yasuchika said with a bow. He gave me a side glance, obviously wondering my name.

"Nice to meet you, Lunera-chan!" Satoshi said with a huge grin and a bow.

"It's nice to all of you as well!" Mom bowed in return. The younger boys looked at me. Mom noticed put a hand on my shoulder. "This is my daughter, Morticia Olivia Butler. I believe she visited you three years ago."

Satoshi and Yasuchika looked lost.

"You two don't remember Shini-chan?! You loved playing with her when you were in elementary!" Mitsukuni said.

"I thought this might happen. Momma, do you have your wallet with you?"

"Yes, oh! I see." She took it out of her pocket and flipped it open to show a picture of me from three years ago. Me and my chubby roundness. I looked like a tomato with black hair and pale skin. "Do you remember her now?"

They both gasped and looked at me in a new light. I giggled.

"I grew up quite nicely, don't you think?" I twirled for the full effect. Satoshi looked like he wanted to hug me and Yasuchika's face was carefully blank, but he had a twinkle in his eye.

"Yeah." Said Takashi. I blushed a little at that, the smallest person in the room noticed and plastered a huge grin on his face. Dammit, you weren't supposed to notice, Mitsukuni!

"Taka-nii-san is right!"

"Hm." Yasuchika and his monosyllable answers.

"You sure did, Shini-chan!" Mitsukuni said from Takashi's shoulder. The smile on his face made my face flush more, it didn't match his young face at all, it matched his teenage mind. I looked down, unable to look at them any longer.

"Hey, Takashi, I want to see if I can beat you in a sword fight." I quickly changed the subject. This drew the shocked looks of Satoshi and Yasuchika. "We can use kendo swords if you want."

He nodded and went to the changing room, leaving Mitsukuni behind.

"Shini-chan, Kyo-chan said that you were the heiress to five companies, is that true?" He looked too cute to make that question rude.

"No, it's four. I've been thinking about opening a chain of cafes or restaurants but I probably won't."

"Wow! Four?" He had such big eyes and such a cute voice.

"Yeah. A shipping company, a weapons manufacture, a paper making company and . . . " I looked at mom. "What was that last one?"

"It's a tea ware factory." She said.

"Oh, yeah."

I turned to see Takashi come back in, holding two kendo swords and dressed in his gi.

* * *

"Hey, momma, do you want to go to the store?" I asked as we left the Haninozuka residence.

"Yeah. We need a couple of things." She said. I knew that she wanted a bunch of stuff to make sweets for Mitsukuni.

"We need to buy a truck."

"Why?" So naïve.

"Momma. Mitsukuni eats absurd amounts of sweets, like, 'he can clean out a bakery' kind of absurd." I said very seriously. The look on her face said "I love this kid even more!"

"We should buy a truck. That way we can buy everything needed." She's serious, I can see it in her face.

"Could I have the car then? It's a bit attention grabbing to take my motorcycle to school everyday." I had gotten to take the car today, but I knew she wouldn't let me have it everyday.

"Hm . . . yeah. I'll let you have the car after I buy the truck, that way I can do things while you're at school."

I did a little happy dance. I love this car, it had leg room for someone taller than five foot, it didn't feel cramped, it didn't take up the road, and it looked really nice. I didn't know what the model was, I don't really know shit about cars, but that didn't matter!

"We'll do that before getting groceries." She just wanted to get everything today.

We found a car dealer quickly and paid for a white, roomy truck. Right there, which almost made the dealer's hair turn white, I don't think he expected us to be able to pay it off like that. We had to bring the poor guy water and fan him until he calmed down.

"That was eventful." The first thing said between us after laughing when we got off the lot. She had driven the truck while I drove the car to a local market. "I can hardly believe that he almost fainted, what about you, momma?"

"That's the funniest thing I've seen in five years!" We laughed some more as we walked into the store.

"Erm, heh." I tried to clear my throat. "What should we do? It might scare the employees if we buy all of their flour."

"We'll just buy half, then go to several other stores and do the same. We should be able to buy all the other stuff we need here though."

"Okay. You talk to the store about someone carrying it to the truck, I'll go pick up some stuff for dinner and some stuff for my treats." I had her with that last part, she loved when I made my special treats because she couldn't replicate it.

"Yeah. Meet back here when you have everything. You have your money with you?"

"Yep!" I kissed her cheek and pranced off to get a cart. My muscles ached pleasantly, where I wasn't possibly bruised, from my sparring with the four 'Nozuka boys.

I went up and down the aisles looking for what I needed and whatever caught my eye. I found some cookbooks that had great recipes in them, so I got those, along with some school supplies since I didn't have any new stuff and I needed a couple of new notebooks anyway.

I payed for my stuff and saw that girl from the Host Club walking out of the store, she looked absolutely adorable. I just got my stuff and saw mom standing at the entrance.

"I got what I needed. How 'bout you?" I asked as I came up to her.

"Yeah, I was just watching the boy load up the truck." I looked and saw a guy gently tossing in sacks of flour and sugar into the back of the truck.

"Three more places?" There was definitely a lot more room.

"Oh yeah."

* * *

_**Author's Note~  
**_

[1] A gi is the outfit that is worn for practicing karate and other martial arts, a tanto is a Japanese short sword. And those shoes she wore to the festival with Boris? I just remembered that those are called geta.


	3. Chapter 3

_**Author's Note~**_

You'll be getting a general look into Morticia's past, modified to fit into the Ouran universe.

* * *

"Momma! Get the door!" I said as I carried four bags of flour, they were a two of them were a hundred pounds and the other two were fifty pounds. I had made it past the garage door, but now I needed her to open the pantry so I could stack these damn things. They didn't feel that heavy, but they were really bulky and threatening to topple me over.

"Fine! Let me put these down first." She quickly set down the regular groceries before opening our extensive pantry. I quickly walked to thee back and gently set the sacks down. "I miss when we had this stuff in barrels. It was so much easier then."

"How old are you?" I asked and ducked when she went to hit the back of my head. I dodged out of there to get the other sacks of flour and sugar.

It took five more trips to get all of the white stuff in, not counting when mom grabbed some of her own. I carried four sacks each time while she carried one sack of flour or two sacks of sugar. She's strong, but not as much as me.

"How many pounds of that did you buy?" I carried three hundred each trip, and she carried a hundred.

"About three thousand pounds of the stuff." I carried three hundred each time and made a total of six trips, so I carried eighteen hundred of the three thousand, so she carried twelve hundred of it. If she makes sweets for Mitsukuni everyday, enough that he doesn't eat as much as he normally would elsewhere, then she didn't buy enough to last two weeks.

"You want German Steak for dinner?"[1]

* * *

My clothes arrived a week later, on a Thursday, I called the school to inform them that I would be attending on Friday. They said it was fine and would have a student from class 2-A to meet me at the office.

"Bye, momma." I said as I kissed her cheek and rushed to the door with my things, and the small cake she had make for Mitsukuni.

"Bye, baby!" Mom called as I ran out after putting on my uniform shoes. I did a quick, but thorough, check of the car and quickly went to school.

I pulled into the special parking spot that was designated for me, far away from the others, and walked to the office. Where I was met with very familiar faces.

"Hello, Kyoya-san, Tamaki-san." I bowed to them in greeting. Kyoya bowed back, it felt like it had a hint of sarcasm behind it, and Tamaki knelt in front of me, pulled out a rose and, again, kissed my knuckles. And I, again, shivered. Stupid, sensitive skin.

"You look lovely in that uniform, Morticia-hime." Tamaki said with a sincere face. Did he just, _honestly_, call me a princess? I feel like hitting him upside the head now. He's getting down graded.

"Suou-san, I was wondering if you could show me to the third year wing of the school." Tamaki looked like he had been stabbed and Kyoya was hiding a smirk. Tamaki fainted so I decided to turn to Kyoya. "Will you show me there, Kyoya-san?"

"Certainly." We walked out of the office, me following and him leading. It was a moment before he spoke again. "You'll answer any question I ask you?"

"I'll answer it if it doesn't put my mother or I in danger. Any information you gather about me, or that I give you, will stay strictly between us. Not even the Host Club can know." He was silent, considering my conditions. I didn't say anything, he looked like he needed more sleep.

"Let's start with simple things." He pulled out a little black notebook and pencil. "What is your favorite color?"

"Violet."

"Favorite food?"

"My mother's cooking."

"Family?"

"My mother, two deceased little sisters', one deceased little brother, my deceased father, and my dead grandmother . . . and a distant uncle."

"Names?" The question was slightly stiffer than the others had been, but he wasn't stopping now that he had gotten the time to ask.

"Mother is Lunera Rose Butler. Grandmother is Gretel Agatha Butler. Brother is Lucern Thomas Butler. First sister, Lilliana Fraren Butler. Second sister is Lissiana Kira Butler. My father is Tegen Hideian." It hurt to say their names after so long, but I plan on answering honestly. I had to grit my teeth to say the next name, but my voice showed all the hate I had for the thing. "Uncle is Chad Hideian."

"Hobbies?" He was obviously steering clear of the painful topics to keep me talking.

"Combat training, painting, drawing, crocheting, playing flute, cooking, reading, writing, gardening, baking, archery, guns, poison study, swordplay, sewing and designing outfits." I'm pretty sure that's everything, but I'm not for sure.

"The companies you will inherit?"

"A weapons manufacturer, a paper making company, a shipping company, and a tea ware factory." He stopped writing for a moment.

"No other ones?" He did tell Mitsukuni that I would inherit five companies.

"No."

"How did you meet Hani-senpai and Mori-senpai?" It took me a moment to process that he meant Mitsukuni and Takashi.

"I met them when some bullies were picking on some smaller kids on the playground. I defended the kids and when the bullies got violent, I beat them off. Mitsukuni and Takashi came and helped take the kids to the nurses office, they then showed me the basic katas for karate. We started to practice together each day after school, before my mother came to pick me up."

"The Hitachiin's?" He flipped to another page. I wonder how neat his handwriting is, he couldn't have fit all of that on those two pages . . . unless he was using shorthand.

"I saw them sitting on a bench in the snow by themselves, just watching the others play with a distant look in their eyes. I thought that they needed comfort of some kind, and when they made fun of my appearance, I started leaving things for them with the help of Mitsukuni and Takashi."

"Why did you transfer out of Ouran?"

"It was the last attack on my father. He was poisoned but fended it off. We moved back to America in hopes that he would recover. He did, but his immune system was terribly weakened and he died of swine flu that spring." It hurt to talk about dad, even though I didn't remember him that well. I had been almost as attached to him as mom had been.

"When did you start combat training?"

"I had been practicing for fun since my year at Ouran Elementary, but started in earnest at age twelve." It was also when I started my growth spurt. Growing a foot and a half had made the weight distribute, and the training had turned it into muscle. I still had wide hips, which was annoying.

"Number of staff at your home?"

"None." I he stopped writing and just stared at me like I had grown a third eye.

"Shini-chan!" Mitsukuni yelled in greeting. I turned to look at him and saw Takashi holding the blond's bag, and the blond so he didn't tackle me. "And Kyo-chan!"

"Hi." Takashi's voice sent a slight shiver down my spine.

"Hello, Mitsukuni-kun, Takashi-kun." I bowed to them in greeting. I could feel the eyes of the other students on me, with more intensity than earlier, I'm guessing that no one used their first names here. "I brought the cake that my mother made for you. She said that it was best with strawberry milk."

"Thanks, Shini-chan!" He shouted as he took the cake box with one hand, the other holding his pink rabbit. "You look pretty in the uniform, did you design it yourself?"

"Yes. I'm glad that Suou-sama agreed to let me use it instead of the regular one. Safety precautions, you know." I gave a small shrug and smile at him. The warning bell rang, showing that it was time to get to class. "I'll see you later!"

"Bye, Shini-chan! Bye, Kyo-chan!" Mitsukuni and Takashi waved as Kyoya and I walked back to the second years' wing.

In class, I had to introduce myself, which was embarrassing and it tested my acting skills. I wanted to smack them all, they had greedy eyes and the boys weren't innocent at all! Perverted bastards needed their eyes gouged out since they wouldn't stop looking me up and down.

"Class, this is the new student. She will be here for the rest of the year." The teacher said. "Any questions for her?"

"What's you name?" A boy asked after being called on by the teacher.

"My name is Morticia Butler. I have moved here from America to look over the companies recently procured by my mother." A lot of the other students dropped their hands. The teacher called on another kid. I lied though.

"What companies were they?" How rude.

"They were paper manufacturers and two companies that make tea sets."

"Who is your mother?" A girl asked, not waiting to be called on.

"Lunera Rose Butler."

"I think that's enough questions for now. Morticia, please take a seat behind Mimi." A girl raised her hand to show that she was Mimi, and she looked like the type that wouldn't leave me the hell alone unless I threatened her.

I took my seat behind her and payed attention to history. I had read the textbook twice, but I couldn't remember a thing because of all the different names! Japanese history is ten times as hard as American history, not as boring, but it's so difficult.

During the break between fist period, history, and second period, literature, I was mobbed by girls. They wanted to know what product I used in my hair to make it so shiny. They all got depressed when I told them that I didn't use any extra product other than shampoo and conditioner. These girls were shallow, like a puddle that's been in the sun. Except one, she didn't ask about any normal things that the other rich kids were doing, she asked if I had enjoyed Japan so far.

And then Tamaki came over.

"Morticia-hime, how have enjoyed the school so far? I know this lovely place in the school garden for you to visit." He called me princess again.

"I have liked the school so far, Suou-san." He fell dramatically to the floor, almost looking like he had been stabbed. "I have quite the extensive garden at home, so I see no want or need to go to school's garden."

He now looked like he had been stabbed several times, it was quite the effect.

"Get to your seats, class is about to start." The teacher said.

The day continued like this. It caused me to hide on the roof at lunch, making me miss Mitsukuni and Takashi. It was so annoying. So very, _very, **annoying. **_ I wanted to snap somebody in half by the time the last bell rang.

"Morticia-san, would you please accompany me to the club that Tamaki and I share?" Kyoya asked as I packed up my things after the mob had left me. He didn't anger me, so I wouldn't let it bleed into my voice, much.

"I don't see why I would do such a th-" I was cut off by my cellphone ringing. I flipped it open. "Mushi mushi?"

"This is Chairman Suou-sama's secretary. I have called to inform you that it is required of you to join a club. It does not matter which and you are allowed to be in two at the most. Have a nice day, Butler-san." The line was cut off as she hung up. I stared at my phone, not sure what to feel. I speed dialed one.

"_Is everything alright? Do I need to come down there?"_

"No. I wanted to tell you that I'll be home later than I thought. I am, apparently, required to join a club." Kyoya just stood to the side and I watched Tamaki talk to some girls that twittered about like birds.

"_Oh, thank goodness!_" I could almost see her pressing a hand to her chest in relief. "_I thought you had called me because someone had abducted you again!_"

"That hasn't happened since I was twelve."

"_I know! I hope you have fun looking for clubs' to join!_"

"I will. Bye, momma. Love you."

"_Bye, Beau! I love you too!_" I hung up after she did and turned to Kyoya.

"Lead the way." I trudged behind him, somewhat in defeat. But I perked up when I remembered that two of my sparring partners were in the club.

"Mon ami! Why did you leave without me!" Tamaki yelled as he ran to us. We had made it to the door before he had called out.

I quickly opened the doors to escape Tamaki, if only for a moment, and saw the room filled with tropical plants and animals.

"Shini-chan!" Mitsukuni yelled as he ran out of the trees only wearing a skirt/thing from a southern country, necklaces, a luau, and barefoot. He looked so cute yet toned that I didn't know how to reply. How do you even make a sentence at seeing an eighteen year old that looks like a child have abs that are to die for.

I almost passed out when I saw Takashi follow him out. He wore Arabian pants with a piece of cloth wrapped around his hips, a matching sash and headband completed his outfit.

"Ke-!" I whispered in a strangled voice. I could see his muscles rippling with each movement he made. It made me want to lick him so badly that it hurt to not do it.

"Shini-chan? Are you okay?" Mitsukuni asked in a flowery way, staring up at me with his big honey colored eyes. The look on his face said that he saw everything, and that he would lord this over me somehow. "Your face is all red and your eyes are dilated."

"I just need to lie down, in that corner." I headed over to the corner and climbed a tree, which was real, and sat on a large branch. I watched as a Banana snake made it's way over to me, it wrapped itself around my arm and stayed.

I know that I fell asleep because, suddenly, Takashi was pulling me down from the tree and he had his uniform back on. Should I be happy about that, or sad that I didn't get to see his body?

"Ah, thank you, Takashi." I thanked him, I looked down to the Banana Snake as it wrapped itself around my waist . . . it made a nice looking belt, with its head hidden and all.

"Kun." He said back.

"What?" I looked back at him quickly.

"Takashi-kun." I felt like a limp noodle, he was giving me permission to call him a cute name.

"Thank you, Takashi-kun." I saw a faint smile on his face as I used his name with the honorific. He nodded on patted my head. We walked back to the main area, where the other hosts were.

"Listen! There's a matter we must deal with immediately!" Tamaki exclaimed as he pointed at me. I felt like breaking his arm just then, and Takashi must have felt my need to injure the fool because he put a hand on my head and looked into my eyes before mouthing the word "No."

"And what would that be, Suou-san?" I asked with a smile that could freeze water. Tamaki, Hikaru and Kaoru huddled in a corner together, shaking while mumbling about a demoness. I've been called worse by the assassins I capture.

"It is about you knowing Haruhi's true gender." Kyoya said. "It would be troublesome for others to find out about it. Due to certain incidents that have happened, she is posing as a male student and needs to remain as such."

"It sounds like she has a monetary debt with you or all of you are using her for her body." I said it with a straight face. The reactions had to be the funniest I had seen in a long time.

Kyoya broke the pencil he was using to write in his little black book.

"What?!" Was yelled by the three cowering males. They turned deathly pale before turning the reddest I had ever seen someone turn, Tamaki passed out and the Hitachiins' couldn't look at anything, not even each other.

Mitsukuni got a confused look on his face, but his eyes said that he knew perfectly well what I meant.

Takashi . . . he turned red and had to lean against a wall. Then he slid down the wall and put his face in his hands.

Haruhi, who had to be the girl, just looked slightly bored.

"Well, I do use my body to pay off the debt." She said, much to the other Host's chagrin. I just stood next to her and patted her head.

"You are too innocent to know what I meant. I'm going to have fun talking around you." The things I could say, the things she would probably say in return . . . it would drive the boys' mad with pent up sexual frustration. And possibly the girls' too, I had seen how they flocked around Tamaki during class, they would be really interested in what we said.

I chuckled and looked over to them, enjoying the way most of them flinched.

"I won't tell anyone, but my mother, that Haruhi doesn't have a _cazzo__._" I said the last word in Italian. It was pretty obvious that the word meant dick, but Haruhi didn't catch onto that. The others did. "Now, if that's done, I need to head to the store before going home."

"I thought that you needed to join a club?" Kyoya pointed out.

"Ah, I had forgotten about that." I looked over at the two seniors. The small one looked at me with hopeful eyes, and Takashi looked impassive. "Could I join the Host Club?"

"You want to be a host?" Tamaki asked in a voice that implied he couldn't believe it. When had he gotten up?

"I don't have to be a host, I could serve drinks or something like that. It doesn't really matter, I would just like to be in the same club as Mitsukuni and Takashi-kun." I said while gesturing to my friends.

Kyoya seemed to be thinking of the implications of my joining of the club.

"We could use a server, it would save time, money and it would intrigue our guests to have her in the club."

"That settles it! You are now part of the Host Club!" Tamaki declared with a goofy superhero pose. The bad part was, he was completely serious.

"Where did you get that belt?" The twin with the deeper voice asked.

"It looks nice with the uniform." Said the twin with a slight squeak in his voice.

At that moment my belt, the friendly Banana Snake, decided to move.

Everyone but Takashi, Kyoya and I yelled.

"Why do you have a snake around your waist?!" Yelled the twins. Tamaki just yelled and held onto the two gingers. Haruhi looked shaken and held onto Takashi. Mitsukuni looked like the snake would kill me.

"It wanted to be near me. Besides, Banana Snakes aren't poisonous. They're constrictors. I would be squeezed to death instead of bit, and all you have to do is grab the tail and unwind them." I found the snakes tail and unwound it from my waist, holding it in my arms. It rubbed its head against my cheek like a cat would.

"Wow! How did you know that?" Mitsukuni asked.

"I like animals so I study them in my spare time. I quite like Pitohui and want one as a pet, but I was told that they should stay in their natural habitat." I gave a wistful stare to a Toucan that was resting in a tree.

"What's a 'Pitohui', Shini-chan?"

"It's a type of poisonous bird. I like those and Belladonna quite a lot." I said with a smile. "I actually grow Belladonna, Daphne, Lily of the Valley, Angel's Trumpet, Rhododendron, Oleander, Autumn Crocus, and Foxglove in my special garden."

I loved using the extracts I got from them, they were beautiful and deadly.

"Those are quite . . . deadly. Why plant those?" Kyoya asked.

"I like using them to decorate and I like making them into liquid to put onto my blades." Takashi was blushing very badly at this point. I guess he like that I could take care of myself. "I keep them far away from my vegetable garden and I make certain that no animal accidentally eats them."

I looked at them all, focusing on Haruhi.

"Well, since that's been decided, I'll take my leave." I put down the snake and turned to the girl. "Bye everyone."

I grabbed her, and our things, before the hosts could blink. I dragged Haruhi to the parking lot before she even knew what happened.

"Senpai, what was that about?" She asked in a breathless voice.

"I thought you might want to go to the store before going home." I said as I checked the car. I finished that and put my stuff inside, along with Haruhi's.

"Well, yeah but you didn't have to drag me out of there." She said as she was getting into the passenger seat. I chuckled as I stated the ignition.

* * *

"Morticia-senpai, you don't have to help me take the groceries up to my apartment." Haruhi told me as I held the majority of the food she bought. She had bought more than she usually did because she didn't have to carry it.

"I wanted to." I said as she opened the door.

"Haruhi!" Came an androgynous voice from the apartment before Haruhi was wrapped in a hug by a tall red head. "How I missed you! Daddy was so lonely without you!"

"Dad, let me bring in the groceries before you hug me." Haruhi said in a muffled voice.

The tall person, her father, ignored what she said and looked at me.

"Who are you?" He was slowly suffocating Haruhi with a mother hug. She had to be having a hard time breathing, how could she even talk when her face was being smothered in her father's chest?

"I'm Butler, Morticia." I introduced myself in the actual way that I'm supposed to. Then looked pointedly at Haruhi. "I think Haruhi needs air."

"Ah!" He quickly let her go, then grabbed her shoulders as she started to fall. "I'm so sorry! Are you okay?!"

"I'm fine dad!" She said as she pushed past him. Her father followed her and I followed after them, gently kicking the door shut.

"But-!" Haruhi stopped him with a dead look. She then turned to me.

"Please put the bags over here." She pointed to the kitchen and I quickly deposited the bags on the counter, going back to the front door. "Morticia-senpai, you can stay if you want to."

"Oh, thank you, Haruhi." I removed my shoes and sat at their low table, across from her father. He made a very pretty woman.

"Let me properly introduce myself. My name is Fujioka Ryoji, but everybody calls me Ranka." Ranka leaned over the table, getting close to whisper to me. "I want to ask you to give me your phone number so I can ask about Haruhi. She doesn't tell me anything at all about school and I would like it if you would help me keep an eye on her."

I couldn't say no even if I wanted to, the parental love in his voice and eyes deterred rejection. I quickly got out my cellphone, making sure that Haruhi was still not paying attention to us, and put in Ranka's phone number.

"It won't have a caller ID when I call you, so don't ignore private numbers." I quickly called his phone then ended it before Haruhi noticed. "Now you can call when you need to."

"Thank you." He said as he saved the number. He then spoke louder. "Did you drive my precious Haruhi home?"

"Yes. I sort of dragged her out of the school to escape the club that we're both in." I put up a small blush for bashfulness.

"Really? Driving is safer than walking and taking the train, so could you do this everyday? And possibly in the morning's too?" He clasped his hands together and had begging tears in his eyes. He was like Tamaki, or Tamaki was like him, and I could see how Haruhi was so indifferent to everything at the club.

"If she agrees then I'll do it." I didn't have a problem with it. She just had to agree. "I don't mind, it would actually set my mind at ease. I've seen what can happen to pretty people on the trains."

"Yes. Everyday I pray that nothing bad befalls her when she goes to and from school." Haruhi came back with some tea for all of us. "Haruhi, please tell me that you're being safe on the way and from school?! I couldn't take it if something terrible befell you!"

He was so dramatic, it hurt to watch, just like with the Host Club "King".

My phone rang, my mom's ringtone. I pushed the green button and prepared to have my ears talked off.

_"Where are you?! Have you been taken? Are you injured?! Am I even talking to Morticia?"_

"Hello, momma." I got in when she paused for a breath of air.

_"Where are you? You should have been home ten minutes ago, if you went to the store. Did you find another animal? Is it a cat?" _

"Momma, I was escorting a fellow student home. She's in the same club as me, the one I was telling you about. Her name is Haruhi Fujioka."

_"She sounds adorable. But, why are you escorting her home? Shouldn't she have a personal driver?" _I didn't want to answer that where they could understand. So I answered in English.

"**She's a scholarship student, and I didn't want her to take the train. You know what happens on those things, and I helped her shop for groceries. I bought everything for your special soup!**" They looked very confused but sat quietly, they were so polite.

_"Okay, I expect you home soon. Love you, Beau!"_

"I love you too, momma." I hung up and turned to them. "I'm sorry, but I have to go."

"It's fine! We understand." Ranka said in a cheerful tone. "What time will you pick up Haruhi?"

"Well, when do you normally leave?" I turned to the girl for her answer. She looked annoyed but resigned to it.

"I leave about seven o'clock."

"Do you want me to pick you up then, or a little later so you can sleep in?" From here to the school was about twenty minutes by car. It wouldn't be a problem to pick her up early or with little time to spare.

"Then is fine. I might actually have more time to be in the library to study."

"Well, we have that settled." I stood and bowed to them. "Thank you for your hospitality, and thank you for the tea. I'll see you on Monday."

"Bye, dearie!" Ranka called as I put on my uniform shoes. Haruhi followed me to the door.

"Goodbye, Morticia-senpai."

"Call me Shini-senpai, or something like that. Morticia-senpai just doesn't have a ring to it." I said as I stood at the door.

"Mora-senpai?" It sounded really cute, and her doe eyes just made it cuter.

"Perfect! Bye, Haru-chan!" I said and went to my car.

"Bye, senpai!" I heard her call as I got into my car. She made such a cute, little kohai. I waved at her as I pulled out and started to drive home.

* * *

_**Author's Note~  
**_

[1] It's a family recipe of mine. I looked it up and none of the ones listed on the internet are even close to what ours is. I love that I have something so one of a kind. And it's food! Which makes it even better!

_**Also~**_

My school year started this Thursday on 8/21/2014. I felt like dying after the first day, even though I missed most of it because of a doctor's appointment.

_**Other also~**_

I found out everybody's heights after I stopped being lazy and looked them up!

Morticia (I made up her height, so it doesn't matter.): 5'5" (at her current age. At 22 she is 5'7")

Haruhi: 5'1"

Tamaki: 6'

Kyoya: 5'10" (I was surprised on this.)

Mitsukuni: 4'9"

Takashi: 6'4" (He always looks so much taller than the others, I thought that he would be 6'7" or something.)

Hikaru/Kaoru (They're twins', of course they have the same height!): 5'9"

Yasuchika: 4'9" - 4'10"

Satoshi: 5'9"

Lunera (Morticia's mom.): 5'3"

Umehito Nekozawa: He . . . has no actual height. He always looks to be slightly taller than Tama-chan, so I'll put him at 6'2"

Ranka (Haruhi's dad, if you forgot.): He also has no actual height but stands almost even in height if not slightly taller than Tama-chan, so I'll say he's 6'1"

**If you got to the end, then inform if you want an omake/thing of Morticia's first Friday from Takashi's point of view. I'm thinking about writing it as a little side thing, but I'd rather have your opinions.**


	4. Chapter 4

_**Author's Note~**_

It was a YES to the omake/thing with Mori's POV!

From me! Because _**N**__**ONE** _of you reviewed chapter 3.

Chapter.

Fucking.

Three.

* * *

**Omake/thing!**

**Takashi Morinozuka POV  
**

This whole week I had been feeling a small ball of anticipation in my stomach. It was unusual for me to feel anxious about anything, but in this case, I didn't mind the slight hope that arose everyday when I got out of the limo. It only bothered me when I didn't see her, Morticia, at all. Mitsukuni felt the same way and I didn't like that.

Today was Friday, the last day of the week, and the last day before the weekend. I was holding Mitsukuni's school bag and mine, like usual. I hadn't seen any sign of her, much to my disappointment, and was slightly lost in thought. I snapped to attention when I heard Mitsukuni shout a greeting that I didn't hear. I barely managed to grab him, not letting him jump onto the unknown person.

"Hi." It came from my lips without my willing it to. Surprising me.

"Hello, Mitsukuni-kun, Takashi-kun." She said as she bowed to us in greeting, A shiver went down my spine at the honorific at the end of my name. I ogled her uniform, it was different from the normal female uniform. She wore a male jacket, made to suit her feminine figure, a dress shirt under that with a ribbon from the female uniform. She wore a pleated, yellow plaid, knee-length skirt with black leggings underneath. Her shoes were similar to that of the girls' but were made like ankle boots, and they appeared to have more traction than the standard female ones. She looked breath taking in it.

I suddenly felt the eyes of almost everyone in the hallway turn to us, just noticing that she had used our first names in a familiar tone. The girls wouldn't like that.

"I brought the cake that my mother made for you. She said that it was best with strawberry milk." I hadn't even noticed that she was carrying anything, or how her hair was in a braid at the base of her head with a red ribbon at the end.

"Thanks Shini-chan!" Mitsukuni shouted as he took the cake box from Morticia. My grip must have gone slack while I was looking at her. "You look pretty in the uniform, did you design it yourself?"

"Yes. I'm glad that Suou-sama agreed to let me use it instead of the regular one. Safety precautions, you know." She gave a small shrug and smile to Mitsukuni. Then the warning bell rang, showing that it was time to start heading to class. "I'll see you later!"

"Bye, Shini-chan! Bye, Kyo-chan!" I waved with Mitsukuni at them as they headed toward the second year wing.

Mitsukuni and I headed to our first period class, getting surrounded after we took our seats. One of the males pulled out a strawberry milk when Mitsukuni asked for it, wanting answers before the tardy bell rang.

"Hani-kun, who was that girl?" A girl asked as Mitsukuni ate the cake. He was obviously loving how it tasted, possibly more than the one from when Morticia and her mother visited us at the dojo.

"That's Shini-chan, Takashi and I have known her since we were fourth years in elementary." He took another bite of the cake, sipping from the pink milk.

"Has she been to Ouran before?" A male asked.

"Yeah! She was a third year when we were in fourth year, she's really nice!" He said then finished the cake and milk. His stuffed rabbit held to him securely.

"It's time for class to start, please take your seats." The teacher said as the bell rang.

I didn't pay attention in class, despite that it was history. My mind was on the girl who had almost mowed me down in kendo and had been one hit away from beating Mitsukuni. Morticia was kind, but had a hidden sadistic streak in her, she was kind until proven that she should treat you otherwise. I knew that she was closed off to most people, and I knew that it had been from something after she left Ouran Elementary. I didn't know what, but at the dojo she would look at her mother with nostalgic eyes.

"Takashi, it's time for lunch!" Mitsukuni said as he jumped onto my shoulders. "Shini-chan said that she was going to eat with us! Let's go so we can meet her!"

I let my charge lead me to the school cafeteria, I thought that I had spotted Morticia for a second, heading in the direction of the roof. The look was one of extreme fury, I would leave her alone until she calmed, if it was her.

"Takashi, do you see her?"

"No." I replied.

"Where could she be?" He asked as he got a tray with food. I lowered the volume of my voice.

"I think she needed some alone time, she might have gone to the roof to hide." I added the last part because of the males, and a small group of females, looking for her by name. It was disturbing for her to have a fanclub so soon after joining Ouran. Hopefully it was a fanclub and not a mob looking for her.

"Aw! I wanted to spend time with her!" Mitsukuni pouted, he had wanted to talk about martial arts with her since she had been trained by someone with a unique style.

"Later." I told him.

**.0.0.0.**

I heard Tamaki's voice at the club doors as I finished putting on the cosplay of the day.

"Shini-chan!" Mitsukuni yelled as he ran to her. I quickly put on the last piece before following him out. Morticia looked like she had seen something surprising, and when she looked at me . . . I was surprised.

Her face turned red, her eyes dilated, her breathing became slightly erratic, and she looked almost like a sex kitten. Her grey eyes looked like smoke and they held a look that I could only describe as lust.

Surely she didn't feel that for me.

"Shini-chan, are you okay?" Mitsukuni questioned. Morticia snapped her eyes to him, a slight look of panic flashing through them. I wanted to protect her. "Your face is all red and your eyes are dilated."

"I need to lie down, in that corner." The raven haired girl headed to one corner of the jungle covered room then, from I could hear, climbed one of the trees.

"I think she's got a crush." Mitsukuni sung with a chuckle. I just looked at him with a questioning stare, which he huffed at. "It's pretty obvious, Takashi."

I thought about it, and it was. She had a thing for Mitsukuni, because she couldn't have romantic feelings for me. She saw me as an older brother! She had seen my older cousin as a good friend and that could have evolved into feelings of the romantic nature.

"You're just as bad as Tama-chan." His voice was serious when he said that, a thing he rarely did.

Through out club time I played my part, being absent-minded the whole time. When it ended, I quickly changed clothes and went in the direction that Morticia had went in. I found her in a tree with a yellow snake wrapped around her arm.

I carefully lifted her out of the tree, coming close to dropping her when her reflexes caused her to almost hit me in the face, staring in awe when she opened her eyes. I set her down carefully, not wanting to accidentally drop her.

"Ah, thank you, Takashi." She, and I, watched as the snake slithered from her arm to wrap around her waist. It looked nice and I felt slightly jealous of the reptile.

"Kun." I said. She looked at me sharply.

"What?" The question was a little weak.

"Takashi-kun." It had sounded so cute when she had said it earlier, and it had sent a slight thrill through me. She looked at me with a slight blush to her face.

"Thank you, Takashi-kun." She said and another shiver traveled my body. I patted her head, so as to not be too of place, and we went back to the others.

"Listen!" Tamaki said and pointed a finger at Morticia. "There a matter we must deal with immediately!"

I placed my hand on her head when I felt a huge wave of violence come from Morticia, looked into her eyes and mouthed the word "No." She turned back to the tall blond with a cold face and voice.

"And what would that be, Suou-san?" Her smile made feel a wind chill, despite the heater. The younger blond and two red heads' huddle together in a corner, mumbling about a demoness. They didn't even know all she could do, it had been no surprise that she could beat Yasuchika and Satoshi . . . I hadn't expected it to be quite so one sided though.

"It is about Haruhi's true gender." Kyoya said, stepping into place since the main three had been cowed so easily. "It would be troublesome for others to find out about it. Due to certain incidents that have happened, she is posing as a male student and needs to stay as such."

I saw a flicker of sadistic humor in her eyes before she spoke.

"It sounds like she has a monetary debt with you or all of you using her for her body." She said it with a straight face, but her eyes said that she expected something funny.

Kyoya broke the pencil he was writing with as the Hitachiin's and Tamaki yelled out a chorus of "What?!" Tamaki then fainted and the twins couldn't even look at each other.

Mitsukuni looked confused, but his eyes said otherwise.

My face got beet red and leaned against a wall. Then the images of Haruhi and the club in _that way _turned to me pinning Morticia to the floor while she had a glazed look in her eye. I slid down the wall and hid my face in my hands.

"Well, I do use my body to pay off the debt." Haruhi said. That just made different carnal images of Morticia and I come to my mind.

"You are too innocent to know what I meant. I'm going to have fun talking around you." She chuckled and looked us with a mischievous glint in her eye, most of us flinched. "I won't tell anyone, but my mother, that Haruhi doesn't have a _cazzo._"

Everyone but Haruhi got that the last word meant dick.

"Now, if that's done, I need to head to the store before going home" She said.

"I thought that you needed to join a club?" Kyoya asked her.

"Ah, I had forgotten about that." She looked over to me and Mitsukuni. I held an impassive face while, I knew he was doing it, Mitsukuni held a cute pout and hopeful eyes. "Could I join the Host Club?"

"You want to be a host?" Tamaki said as he jumped from the ground.

"I don't have to be a host, I could serve drinks or something like that. It doesn't really matter, I would just like to be in the same club as Mitsukuni and Takashi-kun." I shivered at her use of my name as she gestured to me and my cousin.

"We could use a server, it would save time, money and would intrigue our guests to have her in the club." Kyoya stated after a moments consideration.

"That settles it! You are now part of the Host Club!" Tamaki exclaimed as he struck one of his poses.

"Where did you get that belt?" Hikaru asked, at least I think it was the older twin.

"It looks nice with the uniform." Kaoru said.

The snake chose that moment to move, looking at us all.

Everyone but Kyoya, Morticia and I yelled.

"Why do you have a snake around your waist?!" Hikaru and Kaoru yelled. Tamaki just yelled and held onto the twins, while Haruhi looked shaken and clung to me. Mitsukuni looked like he feared the snake would harm Morticia.

"It wanted to be near me. Besides, Banana Snakes aren't poisonous. They're constrictors. I would be squeezed to death instead of bit, and all you have to do is grab the tail and unwind them." Morticia demonstrated by finding the tail and unwrapping the snake from her body. She held the yellow reptile in her arms, it rubbed it's head against her cheek like a cat would. And I was, again, envious of the yellow animal.

"Wow! How did you know that?" Mitsukuni asked.

"I like animals so I study them in my spare time. I like Pitohui and want one as a pet, but I was told they should stay in their natural habitat." She gave a wistful stare to a bird in one of the trees, I think it's called a toucan.

"What's a 'Pitohui', Shini-chan?"

"It's a type of poisonous bird. I like those and Belladonna quite a lot." The smile on her face was slightly sinister in it's enjoyment. "I actually grow Belladonna, Daphne, Lily of the Valley, Angel's Trumpet, Rhododendron, Oleander, Autumn Crocus, and Foxglove in my special garden."

"Those are quite . . . deadly. Why plant those?" Kyoya asked.

"I like using them to decorate and I like making them into liquid to put onto my blades." I felt my face go even redder. The thought of her handling something so dangerous was far too appealing. "I keep them far away from my vegetable garden and I make certain that no animal accidentally eats them."

She then looked at each of us, her eyes discreetly resting on the only other female. Who was gathering her things, next to the raven haired girl's items.

"Well, since that's decided, I'll take my leave." She put down the snake and turned to Haruhi. "Bye everyone."

She grabbed Haruhi, their things, and left before any of us knew what was happening. I barely saw her waist length hair as she slipped out while carrying Haruhi.

Her hair had been in a tight braid with a red ribbon at the end, it had looked so cute on her.

"My precious daughter!" Tamaki shouted, dashing to catch up to the girls. I grabbed him before he could reach the door, he wouldn't have caught up to them since it was Morticia that was running.

"Tama-chan, it's fine! Shini-chan can take care of anything that tries to harm either of them. She almost beat Takashi and I when she came to our dojo!" My charge said to reassure Tamaki, and to keep him safe from Morticia's short temper. "She even beat Sato-chan and Chika-chan!"[1]

"That girl almost beat Hani-senpai and Mori-senpai?!" The Hitachiins' and Tamaki were in awe at that.

"Really?" Kyoya's voice asked, likely wanting more information on Morticia. Mitsukuni and I could tell him many things, but it is not our place to.

"Yeah! If I had been one centimeter higher, she would have knocked me out! But I dodged it and won!" Mitsukuni was so excited when telling how he had won against the gray eyed girl. "And when she fought against Takashi, she almost over powered him with a shinai! It was so cool to watch! She made a slash for his neck but Takashi blocked it at the last moment, then they tried to over power each other, but Shini-chan got distracted by Sato-chan cheering and Takashi managed to get one hit in to win their match."

I don't understand how he can talk so much with only a single breath.

"Whoa!" The other hosts looked astounded by this news, it wasn't much of a surprise to me or Mitsukuni. She had told us that she was going to be taught under a special teacher, we hadn't a clue who it was, but her shishou had taught a technique neither of us had seen before. It was flashy, fast, efficient, and helped make her strength a great asset.

My cellphone vibrated in my pocket, signaling a text message. I checked and saw that it was from otou-sama.

_"Takashi, I need for you and Mitsukuni to come to our home to have a talk. Satoshi and Yasuchika are receiving a similar message."_

I showed it to the oldest host, he hugged Usa-chan closer.

"We got to go. Bye guys!" Mitsukuni said as I gathered our things and waited for him at the door. As soon as he was settled on my shoulders I walked to our awaiting limo. "I wonder what oji wants."[2]

"We'll see." I answered.

.**0.0.0.**

"Taka-nii! Did you get a message from otou-san too?" My brother called as he ran over to Mitsukuni and I. I ruffled his hair in answer.

A servant opened the door for us, we went to the usual sitting room. We all sat across from the patriarchs and bowed in respect.

"Chichi-sama, oji-sama." The four of us said at the same time, using the most respectful terms we could.

"Boys, we have found out that two female, non family members had access to the private dojo that the Haninozuka and Morinozuka share." The Haninozuka head said, his face serious.

"Would you boys like to fill us in on why this occurred without our permission?" The Morinozuka head questioned, actually demanding to know. I decided to answer before Mitsukuni could.

"We invited an old friend of ours to spar with us at the dojo. She accepted and brought her haha-sama with her to meet us."[3] Most of them looked shocked that I had something like that instead of letting one of the others talk. I bowed my head as I continued. "I apologize that our actions were against what you willed."

"We understand." Said my uncle after he picked up his jaw from the floor. "Next time they are over you are to introduce us."

"It's fifteen past five." My father said as he glanced at his wrist watch. He turned to the oldest Haninozuka. "Udon?"

"Yes." They left us alone after that.

* * *

***Back to the actual story!***

* * *

**Morticia POV** [This is a snippet of what happened to her mother. Only, it hasn't happened yet. This was inspired by one of **baby-kitsune9**'s more depressing stories. Sort of, since it had to be a harsh death anyway because the uncle is a total (Extremely bad and derogatory term that doesn't yet exist).]

_I tugged at the iron manacles that held my arms immobile, my legs strapped to a table of some kind. I felt like a virgin sacrifice, complete with torn clothing and long hair.  
_

_"Bastards." I whispered quietly. They had finally figured out that my strength could rip the rope and wire that they usually put me in. It had only taken them seventeen failed assassinations, and me escaping every time they managed to kidnap me. "They decided to learn. Damn shame, I liked when they were stupid."_

_"Baby?" No, don't let that be her! Please, no!_

_"M-momm-ma?" I asked shakily. Please, let this be a nightmare._

_"Morticia! How did we get here?" Her voice was slightly slurred, probably from some knock out drug they gave her, and it had a tinge of fear to it. I have never seen her scared before, or heard that slightly shrill timber to her voice. I want to curl into a ball and forget everything, pretend that it's only me here and that she's safe at the mansion.  
_

_"They got me when I was running the perimeter of the town." My morning jog had apparently been my downfall. I could feel my eyes and cheeks tingle, tears just waiting to come out._

_"I was tending to the greenhouse. I felt a prick in my neck before I blacked out." I could hear the tears in her voice. She knew what they would probably do to us, it was a miracle that they hadn't disposed of us already._

_It could mean a couple of things. But the first one was the most frightening._

_They wanted to play with us._

_At the thought of them defiling us, I ran a mental check of my body._

_I didn't feel any pain between my legs, so they hadn't raped me yet, and the only pain I could feel was me wrists and shoulder blades._

_"I'm sorry." My mother sobbed. Breaking my heart and making my own tears spill over. "I'm sorry that you were born into this life style."_

_"Please don't be sad. I've never regretted being your daughter." It felt like this would be the last conversation we ever had together. I was also sobbing at this point, the inevitable felt closer than ever. One of us was going to die, if not both of us._

_"I have always been proud of you." I only heard her cry twice before, at the funeral for father and then at the joint funeral for grandma, Lilliana, Lissiana, and Lucern._

_"How touching." A male voice sneered. A plain man came into view, showing the face of someone who had killed to get what he wanted. "I see you two wenches are finally awake. My men have waited ever so patiently to play."_

_"Chad." I growled out my uncle's name. I had searched for years, trying to kill him, but he had always eluded me._

_"Now, now. Is the way you're supposed to speak to your uncle? I could have sworn my brother taught you better than that." His face stretched into a sneering smirk. I felt my blood boil and my tears dry._

_"You know damn well that he wasn't around long enough to teach me jack shit, you monster." I growled out at him. I knew that it wasn't a good idea to taunt and insult him when I couldn't get to him. My anger, fear and sadness were fucking up my judgement.  
_

_He scoffed and walked to where I couldn't see him, above my head. I heard flesh hitting flesh and a female gasp. My eyes widened as a loud cracking sound echoed in the dim room._

_No. He hadn't. No, not her. Not the only person that loves me, please not her._

_A whimper alleviated some of my fear. She was still alive, her neck wasn't broken._

_"Every word either of you say against me will result in the punishment of the other." He came back into my line of sight and pushed a button of some kind, it made the table I was on tilt to a slightly slanted position. I saw mom, she was cradling her arm to her chest. "Of course, my men will have some fun with you both and I must say, if they aren't satisfied with one, they'll make due with the other."  
_

_Bastard. He's making us choose the other or ourselves._

_I would endure anything for my mother, and she would do the same for me. If I had to, I would make sure they didn't grow bored of me, just to make them leave her alone. But they will use both of us. It's a fact that can't be over looked or ignored._

_Fuck. Fuck._ Fuck. **Fuck. FUCK. FUCKING HELL!**

_This is going to end badly for us. So very badly._

**.0.0.0.**

I woke up with tears pouring from my eyes. It was the same dream, always the same dream, the same nightmare.

I pulled my legs to my chest and wrapped my arms around them, rocking back and forth.

"Momma." I ran out of my room to go check on her, childish but I had to make sure she was there. I didn't think about how little I was wearing, that my hair was almost a rat's nest, or that I looked like a veterans wife with a tear-stained face, I just had to get to her room to make sure she was there and alive.

I stopped outside her door, stopping myself from banging on it or barging in. After a moment I gently opened it, not making a sound, and saw her turn in her bed. She grumbled in her sleep.

I shut the door, just as quietly as I had opened it, and went to the training room under the house.

"I need to forget that dream." But I wouldn't stop searching for my uncle and his daughter. If they remained alive, we wouldn't. The dream had proven that by going farther than it ever had, showing Chad's face instead of just leaving me with a dim room and a sense of imminent sorrow and pain.

We hadn't had an attack in a year, so he shouldn't have even been there, but I'm going to up my searching. Before that happens.

* * *

_**Author's Note~  
**_

[1] No where in the manga, that I have read, does it say what Mitsukuni calls Satoshi. So . . . he is Sato-chan until I find out. Then I'll come back and fix this. If I even need to fix this.

[2] Google translate says that **oji** _means _uncle.

[3] **Haha-sama** means Mother, in the most respective term possible. It sounds funnier than hell to me, but it's not my native tongue.

Even the omake/thing was longish.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Author's Note~**_

Who wants to find out Morticia's current age? I bet all of you are wondering why I haven't said it yet.

It's because it is pretty surprising.

.

Also I am so sorry for not updating in forever (like a month, but that counts as forever when you like/love something!) and school is hectic, but my grades are already going to shit and I can't really find a fuck to give.

* * *

**Lunera's POV** [Morticia's mom if you forgot her real name]

I found Morticia passed out in the training room. She was slumped against a wall with her knees to her chest. My baby was only wearing a sports bra and knee-length shorts, her hair looked like it could use a very good brushing.

"You must had a nightmare again." It was probably the same one. The one that has haunted her since the death of her father. She has always refused to tell me what it is, but the signs show that it's the same one, and from what she mumbles to herself I have pieced together that it's about us being captured by somebody.

I can't tell her that I have the same on, only with her uncle as our captor.

**.0.0.0.**

After finding her in the training room Saturday morning the weekend passed without incident, which was slightly boring, and I woke up early on Monday to make her breakfast. Getting up at five in the morning was dreadful, but she had to get up at five thirty, get ready for school, have a quick breakfast, inspect the car, then leave only to take a round about and random way to Ouran Academy. My day would be less lively and I could nap after seeing her off.

"Morticia, are you going to spar with Hani-kun and Taka-kun?" I asked as she ate the breakfast I made for her.

"I hadn't thought about it." She said after swallowing. "I'll pack my gi just in case."

"Why not pack that outfit your instructor gave to you? That all black one that can blend with the shadows?" I suggested as I made some tea for myself. She had a thoughtful look on her face as she drank some milk.

"I don't know if it even fits anymore. I'll see if it fits later." She took a bite of toast.

"If you're going to pack your gi, you should make sure to pack spare chest binding."

She nodded and finished the last of it before heading to pack her gi and anything else that picked her fancy. When she came back down stairs her hair was in a high ponytail.

"Do you think I should get some bangs, or just leave it like this?" Her sudden question surprised me as she had never been one for vanity. I had to smile at this, she was probably feeling self conscious from her crush on the Morinozuka heir, it was really cute.

"Why are you asking?"

"I just thought some change would be nice." The blush that came over her face said otherwise.

"Alright, let me do it. I know just the style that will compliment you most without being in the way."

* * *

**Morticia's POV **[At the Fujioka residence.]

I fiddled with my new bangs as I waited for one of my kohai or her father to answer the door. I felt nervous for some reason, I didn't know why though.

"Sorry to keep you waiting, Mora-senpai." Haruhi said when she opened the door. I waved it off.

"It's nothing. Have you had breakfast yet?" I asked, leading the way down the stairs.

"Yeah. I eat it before I leave for school."

"Okay, buckle up and we can go."

**.0.0.0.**

At the school, after dropping off Haruhi at the front, I found Ouran's private dojo. It was a nice one, not as nice as the Haninozuka one, but nice all the same.

"Hello? Is anyone in here?" I asked after knocking on the door. I was surprised at who answered.

"Hello, again, Morticia-chan!" Satoshi said.

"Hello, Satoshi!" I had no idea why I was surprised, but I was. "Do you mind if I train with you?"

"Not at all!" He moved aside to let me in, with a grand gesture, his smile like a thousand watts. He was related to Takashi, how could he smile like that? Then again, he was also related to Mitsukuni . . . and Yasuchika . . . his family confuses me so much. "The changing rooms are down this hall, the one for the girls is on the right at the end."

"Thanks. I'll be back soon." I headed down the hallway that he pointed to, found the female changing room, changed, hid my things, and came back to the main room.

"Shini-chan!" I heard before a small bundle of energy came hurtling at me, I caught him with ease. "Did you get a hair cut?"

"Yeah, I thought I would like a change. It's the first time that I've cut my hair in four years, on purpose anyway." I explained.

"Have you not done it on purpose?" His innocent question made me blush from embarrassment.

"Well, a year ago when I was practicing with my tanto I accidentally cut off quite a bit on one side. It was so prominent that I had to even it out. So I had to cut it to the end of my shoulder blades." I had felt so stupid then, and incredibly sad.

"How long was it before that?" The blond senior asked.

"It went to my hips. I was so sad when I had to get it cut." I had almost literally cried my eyes out. I felt like taking the topic away from that so I called out; "Who wants to fight?"

**.0.0.0.**

"All of you could do with some improvement on, well, everything." I said as I looked at the males that I had defeated. They were the Karate Club, they should be more experienced than that. But, then again, killing somebody lets you know the right limitations for hitting someone. I bet most of them never knew what their bodyguards did to protect them.

"What about me?" Satoshi asked from his sitting position on the floor, looking like a puppy waiting for praise. I patted him on the head, unable to resist his cuteness. He was the only cuteness around since Mitsukuni had left to do something.

"You have improved since we last fought. Not enough to beat me, but I think you've made some nice progress." He almost had a tail, I swear I could see one wagging behind him. I looked at the clock on the wall. "Go shower, junior high school starts in fifteen minutes."

"Yes, Morticia-senpai!" He went to get up but I stopped him. He gave me a questioning look.

"If you're going to call me your senpai, call me Mora-senpai. Morticia-senpai just sounds too weird." I told him, allowing him to stand. He was a few inches taller than me, which was slightly irksome.

"Thank you for your advice, Mora-senpai." Satoshi bowed in respect to me. I bowed back.

"You're welcome." I looked at the clock again. "Now go change, it's not that long until the bell rings for the middle school."

"Yes!" He happily dashed away. I turned to the fallen "warriors" on the floor. They bowed their heads in respect at my superior skill, even though I had to beat that respect into some of them.

"All of you have had training. This is shameful, I have only had three years of training to reach the level that I possess. It is true that from the beginning I had more strength than is humanly possible, but it took those years of training to mold me into this." Some of them shook at my firm tone, others appeared to like it, they were masochistic. "You are the Karate Club, and I think I saw a Judo Club member in here too, you are supposed to be more elite than me."

I let that settle in, watching as some of them moved to hide the "problems" they were having with their dicks.

"All of you, go change to be ready for school." I ordered, watching as they all stood and bowed to me.

"Yes, ma'am!" They all shuffled to the male changing room. I stood at the end of the hallway to make sure none tried to slip into the female one. When all of them had gone, I went into the female changing room and blocked the door.

"It's a good thing this opens in instead of out." If had been the other way . . . well, some families wouldn't have their children in the same condition they went to school in.

I took a five-minute shower, without getting my hair wet, and got dressed with ten minutes to spare.

I walked to class at a leisurely pace, not even attempting to hurry. I saw a familiar head of brown on the way to my home room. I decided to quietly sneak up on the brunette.

"Have you avoided any unwanted issues?"

"Ah! Mora-senpai!" Haruhi almost dropped her things on the floor from the scare. I thought it was funny.

"So have you?"

"Uh, so far, yeah." She started to compose herself. "How did your morning go?"

"I beat everybody at the dojo. It was rather boring." Satoshi had put up the most fight out off all of them, our spar had taken five minutes, and the rest were pretty much instant wins. "They didn't put up much of a fight. It was greatly disappointing."

"That's . . . awful?" Haruhi was unsure of how to answer.

"Haruhi, I beat most of the Karate Club and a Judo Club member. That is terribly sad." I looked over at her to see her eyes wide.

"Wow."

"Yep." I saw that she had stopped in front of a particular classroom, 1-A. "I'll see you later Haruhi."

"Later, Mora-senpai."

**.0.0.0.**

The day was progressing to plain out boring, and frustrating since I had to hide in one of the courtyards at lunch. The only fun thing I did was run to Music Room #3 at the end of classes. I came up just as Takashi was opening the doors. I accidentally ran past them and to the wall, but managed to use my momentum to run up the wall and land in a crouch on the ground.

"Hello boys." I almost went splat against the wall.

"Hello." Takashi said.

"That was so cool, Shini-chan! How can you run like that?" The Haninozuka heir asked, wanting to know about my weirdness. It, sadly, wasn't hereditary.

"It comes naturally." His smile made me feel appreciated by someone that wasn't my mother. I gave a discreet glance to Takashi, his face was blank as always, his eyes held something akin to lust and I felt like twitching as a fire started to burn in my stomach. I ignored it as always. "So how do you guys like my hair?"

"Yeah! It's really pretty this way!" He radiated flowers.

"Yes." Takashi said with a nod. My face felt really hot, why was I blushing? It was just Takashi! He might be my crush but he's just a guy.

"Thanks!" I said as I lead the way into the club room.

"Ah! You made it before most of the others!" The twins, who were already in the room, said together.

"Morticia-senpai, we-" They started but I stopped them with a hand.

"Don't call me that. Call me Mora-senpai if you are going to call me your senpai." I stated. They got a look in their eyes that made me ponder my words. And I just remembered the everyone calls Takashi "Mori-senpai" and I felt like banging my head against a wall made of granite.

"So, you want-" Said the first twin, I assume it's Hikaru.

"Us to call you-" Said the second twin, Kaoru since the other was Hikaru, as they circled me.

"Mora-senpai?" They both slung an arm around me as they finished the sentence together, a mischievous glint in their eyes. I had best play like I didn't know anything.

"Yeah, Morticia-senpai sounds really stupid and Mora means 'child of the sea.' My grandmother used to call me that to mess with my mother since I was conceived on a boat." They both looked skeptical before shrugging. I looked at the other two hosts present and almost died at Mitsukuni's expression.

That little shit knew that I remembered what everyone called Takashi.[1]

"Where's Haruhi?" I needed a deflection from how stupid I was to forget the name everyone calls my crush.

"Oh, she's usually just on time for club to start." Hikaru said, bored.

"Yeah, a minute or to after she gets here the customers start arriving." Kaoru said in an equally bored voice.

"Alright. How long until the customers arrive?" It couldn't be that long.

"We have a little over thirty minutes." Mitsukuni said. "What do yo want to do, Mora-chan?"

"I was thinking of making something sweet but now I think I'll just make myself some coffee." He doesn't deserve sweets after that little, and slightly discreet, jab. "Which way to the kitchen?"

"Why won't you make sweets?" He asked with tears in his eyes, Usa-chan held with both arms. I gave him a cold look as I leaned in close, almost having ours noses touching.

"You know very well why I won't make any today. You will have none of mine until I see honest improvement in your play with me." I said in whisper, making my voice grow cold and monotonous. I smirked internally when he shivered with slight fear in his eyes.

"Kitchen." Takashi said. I looked over to see him pointing to a door on the far side of the club room.

"Arigato, Takashi-kun." I said cheerily and skipped over to it, intent on making my coffee.

* * *

**Takashi's POV**

What was it I just saw? It looked like Morticia said something intimate to Mitsukuni, but his face didn't quite match. It looked as though she had threatened something dear to him, which was unlikely, but . . . she's not above taking away his sweets.

It bothers me how I felt when she got her face that close to his. It was such an unpleasant feeling. It burnt and made me hate myself for feeling it, it was an alien emotion but I think it resembles jealousy, a true burning and not how I felt toward that Banana Snake.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't sense anyone near me until I was poked in the arm. I, on reflex, grabbed the person's arm and threw them across the room. The person landed on the wall in a crouch and then did a propelled flip to land upright.

"Did I startle you that much, Takashi-kun?" Morticia asked with great amusement. I felt mortified, I just threw her for no reason!

"Are you okay?" I looked down to see the tiny blond, and nodded. I looked to the others, Tamaki was just coming in the door and Kyoya just pushed up his glasses. The twins were looking around confused, apparently they missed my slip up.

I feel terrible. I could have hurt her, I have done it before but that was during a match.

"Haru-chan! Come help me prepare the beverages for the customers." Haruhi was then carried like under the raven haired girls arm to the kitchen.

"When did Haruhi get here?"

"A moment ago."

"Places. Get in position, the doors are about to open for the customers." Kyoya instructed. I turned at a yelp to see Haruhi pushed out of the kitchen. "Hurry, Haruhi, or I'll add to your debt."

* * *

**Morticia's POV**

"Welcome!" I heard as I came out with a tray of drinks. I saw dozens of girls flow into the room, a living sea of yellow. A very noisy sea.

I placed the tray on one of the side tables and stood to the side, just waiting for . . . something.

"Shini-chan! Over here!" Mitsukuni called from his table with six girls and Takashi.

"Yes?" I asked, not knowing how to address him in front of his customers. I looked at the girls to see them assessing me with critical eyes, they were definitely looking to make one of the boys their husband. Except two of them, they were actually admiring me with shy looks and blushing faces.

"We need some tea and sugar, could you please get it for us?" I almost blushed at how cute he looked when he asked, the others girls actually did and squealed.

"Sure thing, Mitsukuni-kun." I answered brightly. I had called him that before, so it was probably all over the school anyway. I was vaguely aware of bringing out a teapot of prepared tea, sugar, and creme on a tray.

"Arigato, Shini-chan!" I giggled and patted his head before leaving to pull out some of the sweets that were in the kitchen area.

As I was placing the sweet on the table, a girl came to stand next to me. I couldn't help but notice that she was a short, shy thing, it made me want to cuddle her.

"How may I help you?" I saked her. She blushed darker and started twiddling her fingers, I stood there and waited patiently for her answer.

"I was w-wondering if you could give me som-me ad-dv-vic-ce?" I had to hold myself back from cuddling the girl, she was so adorable with that stutter and soft voice.

"Sure. Let's go over here for it to be more private." I gently led the way to only slightly farther than was necessary, I swear the others were watching like hawks. "No, what do you want advice on?"

"Well, you seem s-so con-nfident and I was wondering i-if you could hel-lp m-me with some r-rom-manc-ce advice." I chuckled quietly, she was hiding her face and it was so cute!

"You do know that I can't help you get together with one of the Hosts', right?" I continued after a nod from her. "Tell me your name and exactly what I can help you with. I will give you the best advice I can, but it will be up to you to follow it."

She thought aboiut this for a moment.

"M-my name is Shimura Momo." Momo, this shy girl, said. "I want to know how to d-draw thi-is on-ne boy's at-tention-n. C-can you help me?"

"Yes. Now tell me why you like him and if you think he notices you."

* * *

**Kyoya'a POV**

Something was . . . off. It was like an opportunity was passing me by, a sensation that rarely occurred to me. I looked around and saw Morticia talking to a client, Shimura Momo, and I also saw the girl brighten before stuttering a thank you and leaving.

This was the opportunity, Morticia giving sound advice to the clients. I could charge for that, which made me quickly go over to her since I had no customers.

"Morticia-san, are you good at giving advice?" I asked. She didn't startle at all, even though I came up silently behind her. Impressive, I've scared Mori-senpai and Hani-senpai by doing that.

"I'm pretty decent at it, hardly ever give bad advice but there are rare times when it happens." Morticia looked at me with a strange look. "You have a slight click when you step, hardly noticeable, but there. Who taught you to walk so lightly?"

I was definitely not expecting to be asked such a random thing.

"It comes naturally." I pushed up my glasses and turned back to business. "Would it be alright if I offered you're services to the customers, you would get sixty percent of the profit and the remaining forty would go to the club."

"Hmm. I don't see why not. At least this way the club would benefit," she paused for a moment, then gave me a sharp look. "If you sell or auction off any of my things, well you won't like the consequences."

"I understand." I did, the message of _"I'll make you disappear for six months and come back with memory loss and being the opposite gender, _if _and_ when _my things disappear at school." _was very loud and **_very_ **clear.

"Good." her smile was almost blinding when she said that. "Why don't you go put that up now so you can start charging for a fourteen year old's advice to people older than her."

* * *

**Morticia's POV**

The look on Kyoya's face was priceless when I told him my age. I felt my face turning red from holding in my laughter. I snapped a quick picture of it, then a second.

"You best get to it if you want to make a profit today." I said with a shooing motion. I watched as he silently walked back to his table, flipped his laptop open and started typing rapidly.

". . . He's so going to have a heart attack one day, especially if he couldn't tell my age with a glance." I sighed. I was advanced physically and mentally for my age, that was the hard truth, but I felt like I was still a child and sometimes, when the darkness of my mind threatened to over whelm me, I felt like I had lived centuries and should return to the soil that had given me life. "No, no, get rid of those thoughts. You live to help Mama and rid the the world of your uncle, no exceptions."

God, that was really depressing. But I would have reason as long as my mother lived. So many times I've been tempted to end it all, but I knew that she would be sad if I did. She might even follow me, but I can't bear to think such thoughts. Even now it brings tears to my eyes.

"Shini-chan!" Mitsukuni called. I blinked away the tears and headed over to his table.

"What do you want this time, Mitsukuni-kun?" I was trying to sound polite, but I'm pretty sure I was failing.

"Did you make that cake?" He sounded so excited. I hurt slightly to crush that hope. Only slightly.

"Nope!" I said with great mirth. "Do you want some of it?"

"Yeah." Mitsukuni sounded a little glum, but it was adorable. To me, anyway, but I was sort of sadistic. Shishou taught me how to cope with the need for blood, but some things just couldn't stop, like hurting others just a _little_ to make myself feel better.

"I'll be right back with it!" I declared and skipped to get it. As I was coming back to his table, a girl stuck out her foot to trip me. I threw the cake into the air, in the direction of the 'Nozuka's table, and flipped after it, completely missing the foot about to trip me. I landed in a crouch three feet from the table and stood, catching the cake and offering it to my blond friend with a large grin. "Here you go."

"That was amazing, Shini-chan!" Mitsukuni exclaimed, and a large applause was suddenly apparent after a moment of silence. I blushed a bright color, I had to match a tomato, as I noticed all the eyes on me.

"It's nothing. I'm sure you could have done it too." I was so thankful that I hadn't stuttered like I wanted to. I kept my eyes on the floor as others declared how amazing I was and if I was also available to request.

I thank everything that Kyoya intervened.

"If you wish to ask Morticia-san more questions," Kyoya paused for effect, which worked. "First, you must come to me to set up an appointment. She has become the Host Club's advice giver and will even be available for private sessions."

And there was his passive aggressive streak showing again. Cunning bastard.

As girls flooded around him I couldn't help but think that he would make a great business man, and how he would look tied to a bed.

"**Bad thoughts. Bad thoughts.**" I scolded myself in English. It must be getting close to the end of the six months since I've been having sexual thoughts about random men. Almost makes me feel like a whore.

"What did you say?" Haruhi asked as she came to stand beside me.

"Hm? Oh, nothing of importance." I said.

"Oh, I just wondered since I'm taking an English language class." Haru-chan paused. "Could you help me? English is your first language and you did live in America. Please, Mora-senpai?"

"Hn. I suppose I can teach you some." I could teach her some things and then quiz her in the car, and at random times. "Show me what you've been doing in the class after club time, then I'll see how much I have to teach you."

"Arigato, Mora-senpai!" Haruhi's smile would have killed me if I had been attracted to her, but I just thought she was so adorably cute. I was quickly annoyed when all the other girls noticed and started squealing.

"Excuse me, Morticia-san? I'm your next client." A girl with waist length blonde hair said.

"Okay. Let's go over here, this table will get us the best privacy."

**.0.0.0.**

"Have a good day, goodbye." I repeated to all of the girls that were sitting at my table. A chorus of farewells answered as they left. "How do you do this everyday, Haru-chan? They were really annoying."

"They're not that bad." Haruhi said, gathering her things. I just gave her a blank, disbelieving stare. "What?"

"The girls you get must be nice and listen. Mine were pushing and more than a little rude." I was completely serious, those girls were terrible, except for Momo. "I hope that they get better as my 'newness' wears off."

I sighed and started to gather my things. But was stopped by a text from my mother.

**MM# **_Could you get some milk, hot sauce, and ice cream on the way home?_

**BB#**_ What kind of ice cream?_

**MM#** _Pistachio, coffee,_ _vanilla, green tea and turtle sundae._

I openly gaped at that list. Was she pregnant again? Did I need to hide for a year? Or, God forbid, did I need to have my room sound proofed?

**BB# **_Mama, are you pregnant? Did you find a guy that tickled your fancy?_

I felt so nervous as I waited for her reply. I felt like I was sweating bullets.

"Is everything alright, Mora-senpai?" Haruhi asked me.

"Maybe. I don't know." I said, uncertain. I didn't want to deal with the sounds of mom and some guy getting at it, and I didn't want to deal with her being pregnant again. I almost didn't survive her coddling, her mother hugs almost killed my siblings and I, while dad was put through the brunt of her hormonal rampages.

I paused my pacing when my phone vibrated.

**MM# **_NO! I simply want a huge sundae with this nice gay guy I found today. Sheesh girl. _

I almost fell to my knees in gratitude. Almost.

**BB# **_Really? Who is it?_

**MM#** _His name is Fujioka Ryoji, but he goes by Ranka._

**BB#** _Are you at the house with this guy?_

**MM#** _Yeah._

**BB#** _Do you mind if I bring a friend over?_

**MM#** _No. Just remember to get what I asked for._

**BB#** _Okay. See you in a bit. _

"Haruhi, do you need anything at the store?" I asked as I slipped my phone into my pocket.

"Just a couple of things."

"Okay, we'll drop those things off at your place before going to mine." Haru just gave me a blank look before resigning to her fate. She has been around rich people to long.

* * *

_**Author's Note~**_

[1] I totally forgot what everyone called Takashi. Mainly because Morticia calls him by his first name and not "Mori" like all the other characters. So I'm not used to calling him that anymore, which totally confuses my anime buddy. I also confused her when I started talking about Mitsukuni, Umehito, Ritsu, and Tetsuya. First names of Hani-senpai, Nekozawa, Kasanoda(Bossanova, or Casanova), and Tetsuya is a minor character but he follows Ritsu around after that one rainy day.

.

So who wasn't expecting that?

[_All of you!_]

3rd grade = 6 years old(When started school, she tested advanced and was placed in the same class as our glasses character.)

8th grade = 11 years old(When she visited the 'Nozuka boys.)

11th grade = 14 years old(Current grade and age in this fic.)

My initial thought was that Morticia would be three years younger than our three favorite seniors(Umehito, Takashi, and Mitsukuni), and I stuck with this idea.

Since Mitsukuni is 17 years old in his senior year, I cross referenced this so many times, I thought "Hmm, she'll have to be one of those advanced kids. Like me, only better."

And so she will graduate when she is 15 years old, like the badass she is.

.

The **MM# **and** BB# **are for** M**a**M**a and** B**a**B**y.


End file.
